Evelyn: Before this all happened…

Dear All, 

In Jeremiah 29:11, it is written "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This was written when the people of God thought all hope was lost, and God reminded them that despite the terrible circumstances, He is still Good. 

Yih-Chun and I plan to write a series of posts to celebrate Baby Cecelia's life and how our good God is still with us in the midst of pain. I have told several people that somehow, even weeks before the car accident, I had a gentle but persistent feeling that God will take baby Ce early. Coming from a non-charismatic Christian background, it was very strange. However, I still tried to pray my worries away, off and on haggling with the Lord that please don't do this--even up until moments before the accident happened. And when that car hit us, I just, somehow, knew it was time.

In the shock of grief, I have screeched at Him that it'd "better be something f*ing amazing" because taking our baby just hurt so bad. Well, while I still don't know what He wants from us, but the lyrics "You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name" (derived from Job 1:21) came to our minds. He does give, but the sovereign Lord also takes away. All I can count on is that He is a GOOD God who means good for His people, and thus, we can still kneel before him and say, "God is Good". 

So we thought to share our journey as we grieve. I'm not a counselor, but I think this would both help us grieve but also draw a sense of community as we collectively grieve. Since, our baby Ce, was just so adorable. And all of us wish we had more time with this squishy baby.

-Evelyn

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